Tree jokes
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
I like pepper.
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
What is brown and extremely sticky?
A stick.
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
Why is a tree brown?
If you are thinking about this, you are racist.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"