Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick :)
When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
Why is a tree brown?
If you are thinking about this, you are racist.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.
I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
What's a tree's least favorite TV show? Chopped!
