Transportation jokes
Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the studio on the other side.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Why did the kid cross the road?
He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was riding the chicken!
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
Yooooooooooooooooooooooo!
A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!