Transportation jokes
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
Memes
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack!
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!
Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!
I like trains.
*train hits him*
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.