Transportation jokes
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
What is the difference between a car and a tree?
A tree cannot drive, but a car can drive.
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack!
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
I like trains.
*train hits him*
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"