Transportation jokes
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack!
Memes
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?
The subway guy didn’t get away with it...
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"
This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.
What can fly underwater?
A mosquito in a submarine.
I like trains.
*train hits him*