Transportation jokes
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
1: My grandpa died last year.
2: What kind of cancer?
1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack!
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!
Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...