Transportation jokes

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"

The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"

What do you call a lesbian on a bike?

A dyke...

I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.

I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."

What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?

The subway guy didn’t get away with it...

Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.

She got mad and ate the bus!

What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?

🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.

What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home"?

Was your birthday?

What is yellow and brings kids to school every day?

None of these jokes really took off.

Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.

What do you call a train that stalls?

The little engine that couldn't!

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.

A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.

What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?

A plane wingless.

As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.

So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."

The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.

He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!

What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?

Plane pizza.