Transportation jokes

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?

The subway guy didn’t get away with it...

What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?

A plane wingless.

What can fly underwater?

A mosquito in a submarine.

I like trains.

*train hits him*

What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"

This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.

Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.

She got mad and ate the bus!

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.

What do you call a train that stalls?

The little engine that couldn't!

Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.

I almost got run over by a car.

For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.

A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.

How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.

Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."

None of these jokes really took off.

Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.

What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?

🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.

What is yellow and brings kids to school every day?