Transportation jokes

What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"

What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.

Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.

She got mad and ate the bus!

This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.

What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home"?

Was your birthday?

What is yellow and brings kids to school every day?

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.

What do you call a train that stalls?

The little engine that couldn't!

None of these jokes really took off.

Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.

What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?

🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.

Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."

A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.

How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.

How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?

You poke it on.

What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?

A plane wingless.

I almost got run over by a car.

For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.

Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.

Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!

Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!

As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.

So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."