Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
What’s my favorite Islamic Holiday... 9/11.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
What do Christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
