Tradition jokes
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
quit comical
Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
Why is Santa so fat?
He only comes once a year.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.