Tradition jokes
What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
Your momma is so ugly that she went out as herself for Halloween.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
What did Donald Trump serve Justin Trudeau at the state dinner?
Poutine in traditional Russian dressing!
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Santa Claus walks up to three little girls and says, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?
What type of tea do you drink with the Queen of England?
Royal-tea.
Orphans' calendar consists of 362 days. Why?
Because they don't got homecoming, Father's Day, and Mother's Day.
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw a wok down the stairs.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"
If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?