Tradition jokes
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
Why are modern women trash?
Because back in the day, a woman knew her place.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
Thanksgiving
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
Why can’t Santa have kids?
He only cums once a year.
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
Why is Santa so fat?
He only comes once a year.