Worst Jokes Ever
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
Hey man, I was gonna tell a joke about 9/11, but it was just plane.
Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"
I'm not saying you're stupid.
But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"