How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
Because he had no body to go with.
What's an orphan's second favorite movie?
Home Alone 2.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?
Any ideas?
SHIT!!!!
Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
What do you find at the end of a rainbow?
Answer: W.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
Jeffrey Dahmer was craving 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
Columbine High basketball team will never be good again after they lost their two best shooters.
My classmate, Hailey Legacy.
Tyler is ugly.
If you are called Tyler, change your name.
