Worst Jokes Ever
Don't worry, the forehead jokes were recommended just like your hairline.
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
Why don’t pedophiles win races?
They like to come in a little behind.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.
I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!