Worst Jokes Ever
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Why can’t orphans play poker?
Because they don’t know what a full house is! 🥵🥵👴😂🔫😈💀💀💀💀💀💀
How is there evidence of climate change?
The liberal snowflakes are drastically melting down!
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
Why can't orphans play football?
Because they can't be on the home team.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Dooris." "Dooris who?" "Door is locked, that's why I'm knocking!"
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer…
It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
I don't know, I don't have one.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.