Worst Jokes Ever
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
Why do women have two sets of lips?
I kiss both.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"
Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
What did the Teacher say to the orphan?
"I am calling your parents!"
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.