Worst Jokes Ever
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “You’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup!”
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: Because they come back, unlike their parents.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.