Worst Jokes Ever

You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.

Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-

Why do orphans use iPhone X's?

Because they can't find home.

You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!

Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.

When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!

What happened after George Floyd went to the drugstore to buy zicam extreme congestion relief? George Floyd was able to breathe again

Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:

Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.

When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,

Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.

What did the Twin Towers say to each other?

Sorry if that offended anyone.

“I guess we are going down together!”

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.

He swears by it, but he’s in denial.

In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!

Why do Mexicans take Xanax?

Because they’re Hispanic attacks.

What do orgasms and pulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

What is the difference between runners and my car?

My car is still running.

What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?

A black woman dressed for church.

What are the three worst years of a black child's life?

First grade!