What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
Worst Jokes Ever
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of dawn.
Let's just say Dawn got very mad.
Why was the giraffe late to work?
Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
Helen Keller.
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
I told her roses are red, violets are blue. God made me pretty, what the hell happened to you! MF😅🤣😂
