Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
There are times I miss you, that I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
6 looks like someone facing up.
9 looks like someone facing down.
69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!
So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!
What do old people have when they are sick.
A going away party.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
Why are skeletons not funny? Because they have no humor. 🤣