Worst Jokes Ever
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
My friend died from Ligma!
Ligma balls.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
Eat cockroaches.