Worst Jokes Ever
Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
In America, you work on a plantation.
In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!
Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?
because it was rated RRRRGGGG.
I am guessing you don't understand :(
RIP Harambe.
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
Were you born on the highway? 'Cause that's where most accidents happen.
Yo mom's so fat that she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
Why did the doctor get mad?
Because he was losing his patients.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚⁉️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
Answer: a selfie.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating!