Worst Jokes Ever

My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."

What is the email password of a black person?

"watermelon"

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel.

There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.

What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?

I've been raped!

What does NASA stand for?

Not A Space Agency.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.

Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.

The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!

George Floyd was in a TV show, Fresh Prince, with no air.

Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?

I’m Zaptos intolerant!