Worst Jokes Ever
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
Q: What's black, white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra? No, Michael Jackson after a Pepsi advert.
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
When is rape normal?
When it's called an unplanned pregnancy.
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
There are two Mexicans in a car. Who's driving?
A cop.
I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?" She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.