Worst Jokes Ever
I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.
I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.
People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...
Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? A roamin' Catholic.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
COVID-19 is like pasta.
Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
I went to the dump truck today, and my wife said, "Thanks for visiting."