I love telling jokes about orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
How do pedophiles follow the law?
They drive it slow in the school zone.
So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.
Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"
Are butt cheeks one word, or should I spread them apart?
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.
