Worst Jokes Ever
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
What if your Corona test is neutral?
Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.
Where do rape victims buy their clothes from?
The kids section.
Everything is made in China... except for baby girls.
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
What's a prisoner's favorite game?
Hangman!
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Why was Michael Jackson fired as a guitar teacher?
Because he fingered a minor.
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.