My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.
Worst Jokes Ever
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
America: "WE NEED MORE AMMO!"
Japan: "We are the ammo."
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Dooris." "Dooris who?" "Door is locked, that's why I'm knocking!"
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
