Worst Jokes Ever

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.

How do you keep a moron in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow!

Why did an orphan kill ET?

To phone home.

Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.

What do you call a smart pig?

A Swinestein.

What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.

Where does the resistor go after a long day?

It goes Ohm.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."

Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.

"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"

"Shut up and leave the bedroom."

Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.

I’m in catholic school.

I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.

People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...

Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.

The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

COVID-19 is like pasta.

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

Call me a worn-out sweater because I’m hanging on by a thread.

That’s about to become a rope around my neck.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.

How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?

Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.