Worst Jokes Ever
Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date? Because he was 2 squared.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.