Worst Jokes Ever
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals: a hacker, a rapist, a serial killer, and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial killer decides that she wants to change, but when she sees a knife she just can’t help it. She bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist gets teleported back to prison.
What did the octopus say to the other? "Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands."
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
Did you hear about the gay choirboy?
He choked on his first hymn.
I hate my life.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."