Worst Jokes Ever
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
Do you know Mike Hawk? No, who is he? Mike Hawk in your MOUTH!
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
I'm worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
I told my therapist I feel suicidal. He charged me in advance.
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
What kind of family pictures do orphans take?
Selfies!!
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free...