Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
Worst Jokes Ever
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
A man walked into a bar...
Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
