Worst Jokes Ever
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
What do you call a terrorist in water?
A bath bomb 😁
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
What did Dom Toretto say about the tree Paul Walker hit?
"Family strong, but not that strong."
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
Can emos eat a Happy Meal?
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.
What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.
All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.
"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.