Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"