Worst Jokes Ever
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Why don't Indians like snow?
Because it's white all over their land.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Robin's gay.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Why do dwarfs work at Tesco?
Because every little helps!
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.