Worst Jokes Ever
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?