Worst Jokes Ever
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
I was out to dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 47, had many people shouting at me and calling me a creep.
It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."