Worst Jokes Ever
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
What is another word for a bagel? 🥯
Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Biden, no cash, and no hope.
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
My son came to me depressed, so I pointed to the spare bedroom and said, "Hang in here, son."