Worst Jokes Ever

It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.

What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?

Children scream when they melt.

A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?

Burial grounds.

A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"

One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."

Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.

Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.

I hate my life.

In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.

There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.

"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"

"Cancer."

I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.

A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch).

What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?

Snowballs.

Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?

"Because his dad never brought the milk."

What do you call a Sikh man standing on a rope? Balan Singh.

Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)

Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?

It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.