Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
A Chinese man and an Indian man are in a car. Who’s driving?
The driving instructor.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand?
"Hello Ladies!"
Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
Know what a 6.9 is?
Another good thing screwed up by a period.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
Teacher: "I'll call your mother."
Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.
Kid: Why?
Dad: So you won't get bored.