Worst Jokes Ever
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.
I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.