Worst Jokes Ever

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.

Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? You nail its other hand to the ground.

So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?

My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?

Miscarriage.

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.

What do you call a whore with a runny nose?

...Full!

I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.

Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?

dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.

morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.

When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.

There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.

Sometimes, stairs get me down.