Worst Jokes Ever

Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.

God: “Steven, join us.”

*sees the staircase to heaven*

Steven: “Shit.”

I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.

Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!

My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.

What did the mute man tell the blind man?

Nothing.

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.

For 20 seconds.

And only once... :(

What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?

A milkshake.

I said to Google, "How do I kill someone?" Then I got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front. Before you click it, it says, "If you want to kill someone, we are the right guys." How the f*** did this get in Google?

What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.

You were sleeping, it didn't count - Chloe Foxwell 2021:)))))))

So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.

What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?

I don't know.

Neither do I, but it runs in the family.

What's an Emo's favorite drink?

Water, JK it's cyanide.

What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?

Miscarriage.

I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.

When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.