Worst Jokes Ever
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
I hate my life.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).