Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Explain Bear is my favorite.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.