Worst Jokes Ever
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
I drove by the gun shop the other day and everything was half off for back to school.
What do the Spanish people call child abuse? Pedrophile.
What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?
Chocolate drops.
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.
The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."
"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.
"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
what's a depressed person's favorite game?
hangman
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working in an orphanage.
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?