Worst Jokes Ever
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. They got plane.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
What's the difference between a baby and a potato? 140 calories.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.