Worst Jokes Ever
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
Doctor: I've got good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: I've got you flowers.
Patient: Awww, What's the bad news?
Doctor: They're for your grave.
After 12, it's lunch. 😂
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.
What instrument can a skeleton not play? An organ!
What instrument can a skeleton play? A Trombone!
Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
Why can't Americans play chess?
Because they're missing two towers.
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.