Worst Jokes Ever
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
gay fish.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
Hangman.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"
Friend #2: "Apples"
Me: "I can hang myself in them."
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.