I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Worst Jokes Ever
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What do you call an orphan? No home-o.
What's an orphan's favorite band?
Foster the People 😂
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hankery panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill,
And now there's little Frankey.
Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?
- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
