Worst Jokes Ever
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.
It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
Imagine Africans during a solar eclipse...
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.