Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a musician 👩‍🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
I love rap!
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
I came here to laugh.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.