Worst Jokes Ever
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
What are Michael Jackson's pronouns? "He he."
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
Yo mama so ugly!
The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..\n\nI now suffer from anxiety AND depression :\
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.