Worst Jokes Ever
Why does JD Vance have strained diplomatic relations with Turkey?
He took away their ottoman!
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
Technoblade would love it here.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize itβs half empty.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?