Worst Jokes Ever
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death, you may end up regretting it. You can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if I’m wrong.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.
How do you make a plumber sad?
Kill his family.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
God: “Steven, join us.”
*sees the staircase to heaven*
Steven: “Shit.”
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
I had a gold fish who could breakdance on the carpet.
For 20 seconds.
And only once... :(
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"
A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"
The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."
The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"