Worst Jokes Ever
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}
What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?
Miscarriage.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.
When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.