Worst Jokes Ever
Why would a protestant refuse to become a catholic?
Because a protestant is not a homosexual sodomite.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!
What concert only costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."