Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.
what's the difference between an emo and an apple? the apple falls to the ground while the emo just hangs there.
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.
What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?
The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?
Vegetable soup.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
Kenny is living with his girlfriend now.
He just moved back in with his mom.
My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.
Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
Yo, your hairline over here lookin' like the Nile River.