Worst Jokes Ever
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
911, what's your emergency?
Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.
Well, it's not a living room anymore.
Me: Hangs up.
You're so poor you wash paper plates.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"
A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"
The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."
The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
F is for friends who don't talk to you.
U is for Ur alone.
N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.