Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
Tamalito.
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants? A: He heard the snowblower coming.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."
Where did Lucy go during the bombing? Everywhere.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
What's white and bloody?
Two doves in a trash compactor. Talk about a failed marriage.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.