Worst Jokes Ever
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
What can you never tell an orphan?
Go home to your parents.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.
You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...