Worst Jokes Ever

How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.

Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.

What's the difference between a knife and my life?

A knife has a point.

The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.

What did one traffic light say to the other?

"Stop looking, I am changing."

Don't let an extra chromosome get you down!

Have you ever tried North Korean food?

Neither have the North Koreans.

What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"

When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

How does Hitler tie his shoes?

In tiny Knotsies.

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"

What do you call a dwarf police officer?

A guinea pig.

6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.

What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?

They both finished the races.

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.

Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!