Worst Jokes Ever
Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.
Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)
Boobless.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
What's Thanos' favorite game?
Half-life.
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
Do you know Putin?
Put in these balls in your mouth.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
What first went through Sally's mind when the Nazis came? - A bullet.