Worst Jokes Ever
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
What starts with M and ends with carriage?
This joke never gets old, but then again neither does the baby.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."