Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?

A virgin.

Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.

What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.

A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.

They're all Predators!

what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.

A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.

What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?

A self-fie.

Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."

Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.

What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.

This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.

Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.

A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.

Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.

what is the fastest country? iran.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.

What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

They're both accidents.

Curry.

What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.