Worst Jokes Ever
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
I called a suicidal hotline in Iraq and they asked me if I could drive a truck.
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
Carrie Underwood and ChatGPT are not the same. ChatGPT is able to create a soul.
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Black.