Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
what is the fastest country? iran.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Curry.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
What joke do you tell an orphan?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not your parents.
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
I was raped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.