Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?

Because he's dead.

Chuck Norris threw one Pokéball and caught 'em all.

Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic. Hehe.

Dogs can't operate MRI machines.

But cat scan!

What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?

A toaster.

What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.

I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.

Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.

I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...

Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.

You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.

A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.

I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.

Simply because they look up to me.

Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.

My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."

Where did the sheep get a haircut?

At the baa-baa shop.

One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.

What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?

Special forces.

Btw, I'm 13.