Worst Jokes Ever
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
What does a lesbian bring on the second date?
A U-Haul.
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
Why did the feminist fail algebra?
She couldn’t solve inequalities.
I was walking today and I saw an emo with a noose looking up at a tree. I simply said, "Hang on there, bud!"
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺