Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
Because it's the only time they are wanted.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic. Hehe.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
What's the difference between yes and no...
Nothing.
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression...
Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
Dogs can't operate MRI machines.
But cat scan!
What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.