Worst Jokes Ever
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
What do you call a cow that eats grass?
A lawn mooer.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
Why do orphans only eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
What looks like it has jaundice and is filled with stupidity?
A Mexican.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.