Worst Jokes Ever
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
I like dick.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
What's an orphan's favorite game?
GTA, because they're actually wanted? Lol.
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies, "No."
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up," she replied.
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies, "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"
The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.