Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)
Worst Jokes Ever
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.
Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"
Me: "Nope."
Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."
Me: "You never said \"love\"".
Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"
Me: "Frick no."
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
What's the difference between sex and rape? Some effective drugs.
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of the pile is still alive.
What's worse than that?
The baby at the bottom of pile is eating its way out.
What do you call a feminist with a rape whistle? Delusional and optimistic.
What kind of games do they play in Africa? The hunger games.
Everybody loves guns!
Every time I show them mine, they give me free stuff.
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
You know why orphans can't play baseball? 'Cause they can't find home.
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.
