Worst Jokes Ever

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can never get a home run.

Why was 10 scared?

Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.

What do you call a U.S. border hopper?

A Mexican jumping bean.

How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One really small one and one really small black guy.

What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?

Tragic Johnson.

What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.

It's my New Year's resolution.

What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?

The licorice is black.

This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.

Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!

Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?

Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."

You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.

1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?

2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?

Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.