Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t go home.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could suck Jill’s candy.
Jack got a shock because Jill’s real name was Randy.
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
Stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs. They can't stand up for themselves.
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
When you look in the mirror, the mirror cracks.