Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
What did the bird go to the hospital for?
For tweetment!
Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?
Mom forgot to come back with the milk.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?
Answer: Hot wheels...
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
I see a worm. Oh, no, it's just your hairline!