Worst Jokes Ever
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t go home.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
At least the Twin Towers saw the parents they crashed on.
What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?
"Good Lord, this is fun!"
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
Why don’t midgets wear tampons?
Because they’ll trip over the string.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Parents...
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.