Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
They are hairy.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.
Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
What’s a downy's favorite song? Down Under.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
I like CHEESE!
When an orphan takes a selfie, is that their family photo?
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.