Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a flat chested emo girl?

Cutting board.

I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"

Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.

Haha, my life is a joke, but it ain't funny.

What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?

My big green pedo machine.

When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)

What's worse than ten dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in ten trash cans...lol

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Michael Jackson.

The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?

The captain's log.

Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.

Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"

What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.

Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.

How dairy!

"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."

"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

120 pounds.

Deja-poo.

The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.