Worst Jokes Ever
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could suck Jill’s candy.
Jack got a shock because Jill’s real name was Randy.
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
Stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs. They can't stand up for themselves.
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
Q: What's an emo's favorite game? A: Hangman
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Because I know they haven't.