Worst Jokes Ever
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Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Why don’t midgets wear tampons?
Because they’ll trip over the string.
Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.
I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Epic gamer.
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."
"Shut up, Brick!"