Worst Jokes Ever
I entered ten puns in a joke contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never get a home run.