Worst Jokes Ever
Teacher: What comes after C?
Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!
Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?
Me: AK47!!!
Teacher thought: Oh hell na.
Teacher: What comes after X?
Me: Xplosin.
1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.
Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"
Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
I love Little Mix.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...
Because it's a FAMILY company.
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.
Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.
That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.