Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Your hairline caused the solar flare.
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
Yo, dad went to get milk and still hasn't came back 10 years later!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song?
The wheels on the chair go round and round.
Why don’t I like shafting?
It feels squishy.
So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
I'd rather kiss a cactus than kiss you. Wanna know why?
Because at least I'd feel something with the cactus than I ever could with you.
Friends you eat with are called "tastebuds".
Everyone has depression on SOME level, even our cells do apoptosis!
Btw: apoptosis is basically when a cell kills itself :)