Worst Jokes Ever
Haha, my life is a joke, but it ain't funny.
What do you call a flat chested emo girl?
Cutting board.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.
What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.
Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?
'Cause they don't know where the home page is.
You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.
How dairy!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.
Jack and Jill went down to hell to fetch your mother's bladder.
Her bladder broke. You two are soaked, and now you have a daughter, 'cause in that bladder was me!
The streets go blank in the dead of the day, not a car to be seen.
A kingdom of corona-cation, and it looks like mom's the queen.
The wind is howling with this virus in the air.
Couldn't keep it in China, everyone knows it's everywhere.
Don't let friends in, don't be afraid.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don't feel your insanity, that the virus caused!
Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors!
I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friend's house.
Sickness doesn't get to me anyway.
It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane, and the fears that once controlled me are here and present, oh well!
It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through!
No right, no wrong, but stay inside!
WE'RE NOT FREE!!
Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! 'Cause I have nothing better to do.
The virus flurries through the air into my house!
The storm is spiraling, fear and fractals all around!!
And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!!
What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past????
DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT 'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.