Worst Jokes Ever
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
Better Friday the 13th than any Monday.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
You really put the R in special.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
What do you call a united cow? A united steaks! 🤣🤣🤣
Why is September 11th the best birthday?
No one ever forgets it! <3
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
Wanna hear a joke? Just look in the mirror, the joke's there!
Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 open the door.
5, 6 Nike kicks.
What do you call an emo friend group?
The Suicide Squad.
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?