Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
What do you call a white girl at Starbucks?
At home.
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
I couldn’t quite remember how to catch a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.
Seven ate nine.
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
My life.
Hmmm.
Q: Why doesn't a skeleton mother drink water?
A: Because it gives her more work!
I love my family when they're buried alive.
Two mates walk into a bar.
Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"
Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."
Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"
Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."
Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.