Worst Jokes Ever

So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?

Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"

When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!

There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.

Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?

Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.

What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?

Because it got stuck in a crack.

Chuck Norris told those three men how to climb Trump's wall.

What's the difference between a priest and a zit?

A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.

I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.

All germs are from GERMany.

Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.

Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.

The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."

She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"

Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!

Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.

What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?

A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?

I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.

A Mexican opens a pharmacy in CA. What’s he selling?

Drugs.

What do you call a gay cow? A gay cow.

How do you know if a comedian is high?

Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.

How Jupiter was discovered.

Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.