Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.
Water?
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
What's 12 inches long and begins with a p?
A shit.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
If babies stay in their mothers for 9 months, are they not 9 months old when they are born?
The reason why Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
мy naмe ιѕ jeғғ.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.