Worst Jokes Ever
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket? Cus they always eat the bat.
Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.
School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
What do you call an orphan's home?
No home.
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
Q: Why did Stevie Wonder drown?
A: Because there wasn't a lifeguard in sight.
Jorden Calerendiá.
I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.
Yo mama’s official weight (in tonnes)
99593927273949592827385959599282738595939282759593827395828192948472937593817294728275957292739584728459398284854982835884838285849292857483838385838294958483823884958383947391959593817495827394858272959573939488492949595837829374758483848497483919396849294858203957293858930375938475937393949292949848215722935375838283848382883839393949583929459939294949493928174759284759927495910305838385848292958293959.
What did the steak say to the other steak?
What is the cheapest meat?
"Deer balls," they're under a buck!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer:
The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."
My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."
What do you say to an emo with a new haircut?
"Nice cut, G."
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!