Worst Jokes Ever
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
A blind person walks into a bar.
Because they can’t see where they are going.
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember, there are no speed bumps... I hit Bambi!
What did Pepper say to Spray?
"Hey Spray, I'm Pepper, and I think we should fight crime!"
We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.
You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
Q: You have problems, I think your disease is BOOFA.
Q: What boofa?
A: Boofa deez nuts in yo mouth!
Who likes penis?
My cousin!
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlost.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
What’s a cow with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.