Worst Jokes Ever

Why was one afraid of every number in the world?

Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orphan.

Orphan who?

Are you my mommy?

Love? Is impossible.

I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.

What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?

KIT-KAT :p

What is you main food?

Me: Pizza cause I'm cheesy.

Friend: Chocolate chips cause I have a lot of friends.

Girlfriend: Donut cause I have a lot of cream.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

Where did the mouse go?

To the mouse-um!

Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?

A: IHOP.

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 80 people.

Then it exploded.

If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.

How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!

Where do you find the best comedians?

In the funny farm!

I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.

I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.

Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?

12 year old me: Yeah!

Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?

Me: What?

What do you call someone without a body?

Nobody.

How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?

I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?

With a degree!